It All Starts With 'A', Attitude

It's funny how I realize that I'm still pretty much small, or short, when I stand next to a guy. I think I'm big enough, in terms of width. All this while I didn't realize that guys could be that THAT big and tall compared to me. I suppose all the guys I've been meeting, standing next to are all small and thin??? Haha I don't know. But it kinda scares me out to stand next to big and tall guy. Especially if they're big. And I mean, literally. It's like, they can crush you any minute they want. Which, also makes me feel insecure, like I could be in danger all the time. Oh my god... it's just plain scary to imagine what they could do to you. I wonder how girls smaller than me feels. :/

So, what about attitude??

According to the Oxford Dictionary, Attitude is the way you think/feel about something, the way you behave towards somebody/something that shows how you think/feel.

So you want your house to be clean all the time?
But you're not putting much effort to make it better or at least maintain the house's cleanliness, then have fun dreaming it!
Why not while you're watching TV, you can wipe the table?
After you're done watching TV, make sure that the sofa pillow (or whatever you call it) is at its place?
After you're done eating, put the dishes IN the sink, not leaving them on the table and why not help us wash 'em?
Why can't you just close the lid properly and tightly after you open the bottle?
Why can't you ask properly for me to do it?

Sometimes, I think people take me for granted. I'm your ***** for crying out loud! I'm not gonna change into a bibik just because you're making me into one. No, it's not that I disguist bibik, no. But I don't like it when I'm, oh wait, lets not forget my 46 years old, going old mom, too, who works hard to make sure that the house is clean, and you're sitting there watching the fducking Akademi Fantasia and  God knows what other lame Indonesian sinetron. I'd rather die or lose my virginity rather than watching that fducking lame programme. That's how disgusted I am with the programme. And I don't like it when all you do after coming back from work, the words that come out from your mouth are 'Penat', 'Letih'.  HELLLOOO??!!! As if my mother and I are not tired at all???? You gotta fducking kidding me. Please don't say that the toilet is so god damn dirty when I spent 1 and a half hour cleaning it! Yes, I'm not one spoiled kid as what some claimed as if they know my whole story when all they know is my name. MY NAME. One of the reasons why I don't wanna do it is because you don't know how to appreciate what we did. 

Also, there's also another woman whom I once gave my respect. Well, she's a philosophy doctor. Oh yeah, the world is dying to see her. Dying la sangat kan. Well, since you said that people who take TESL are all stupid, and how you emphasize how stupid I was (for choosing to pursue my studies in TESL), you know what, I wonder how in the first place you got your "Dr." title. People like you don't deserve it. You may act all westernized, like all the Malays are so god damn lame, but seriously, your mentality is just as the same as those mak cik at kampung. Ala... mak cik2 yg suka gossip2, dengki kat orang lain yang senang, ha, macam tu la hang. 

A woman whom I once saw as a very strong woman, now is nothing like the weakest woman I've ever known. She's so hard that's easily broken. There are just too many weaknesses that I can see in you and it's something that I wish I'd never seen it. I hate it when I see people's weaknesses. It makes me ugly for seeing other people's black dots.


  1. nyna, in the coming entri, can u write about how to hide our black dots since we don;t want our friends to look at it although it is so pain to bear with it alone and really have to let it go.

  2. Izni:
    I'll try my best to do it. Give me some time, I need to think first how to put it into words. I will post it, insya-Allah. :D

  3. I know how it feels kalau kita buat kerja penat2 tapi tak dihargai.Annoying giler.Btw nyna,be strong ye? :)

  4. Mimi:
    Kan?? Hmm. Thanks, Mimi. :)

  5. sabar nina. Memang manusia ni tak lari dari asyik pandang salah orang :)

  6. @syahidahfouat

    Unfortunately, I live with this kind of people. Thanks, Syidah. :)


What's on your mind is there for a reason. :)