Day 17 | Something I Regret

So far in my 19 years of life, there’re not many things that I regret. I think I barely regret with what I chose. All except for this one decision in my life, choosing MRSM over CBN.

How's it like in CBN

Well, you see, students in CBN, I can say that we are all quite well-disciplined. Believe me when I said it’s a total silence in the hall of hundreds people. TOTAL SILENCE. In fact, you can hear the sound of the squeaking (do you call it squeaking?) of the fans in the hall. Seriously. Plus a few who cough and sneeze whenever necessary. Otherwise, we’re all very quiet in the hall during the assembly. I remember when Mrs. Siva will stand in front of the stage looking down on us waiting for us to keep quiet. Seriously, that’s one of the good psychological way of handling students. Hehehe

It has been like a long time dream to be in 4B class back in CBN. Cuz that was the top class. The smartest people are in there. Usually it's 4B or 4U. But people in 4B, high ranking sikit la. In CBN, we have class B, U, K, T, N, A, W, P. B was the top. So, after PMR, I get to be in 4B. I was happy. I was ecstatic! But then, because my desire that wanted to experience living life in boarding school, I left my dream and went for something uncertain. 

Which is MRSM Kuala Berang!

I remember the moment I got the news. I was sleeping at that time. Then Ibu came running (well, not really running) telling me I got an offer to go into the MRSM. And it stated there MRSM Kuala Berang. In my head, WHERE THE HELL IN THE WORLD IS THAT???!

Oh, it turned out it's in HULU Terengganu. HUUULUUU I tell you.

I was very shocked from my very first day in MRSM Kuala Berang. The students, the environment was far too different from CBN. Ibarat rusa masuk kampung. Erk. Ironinya. I’m not a rusa. haha Or maybe, ibarat langit dengan bumi. Haaa! That sounds better. haha

The first night and day there.

I didn’t really cry on the day I had to separate with my mom. My mom did. hahaha God, I can’t imagine how when she’s giving me to my future husband later. *imagining in cloudy invisible cloud on head* Ah never mind. That’s a story of unknown time. I wasn’t really sad. In fact, I was quite excited! Some of the reasons why I wanna be one of the MRSM students:

  • I wanna be independent
  • I wanna know how it feels like being on your own, without my mom beside me helping in any way
  • I wanna know how it feels like being a boarding school student

So yeah. First night, I couldn’t really talk with my roommates. They’re all Kelantanese and I can’t understand not even one word that came out of their mouth. Amalina, Ayu (Name je ayu, luar nampak rock, tapi boleh tahan penakut jugak tu. haha and Asyi). I think they’re all nice people. That one and a half year, I lived with the Kelantanese. During form 5, I was in the same room with Farah and Syamira and oh yeah, adik Mas whom I don’t remember her name anymore. Sorry. We kinda had some issues with her, but it never really mattered though. haha Kisah lama tak perlu dibuka semula! haha XD

Homeroom Az-Zahrawi. :)

My first outing.

Knowing that I was kinda “overprotected” by my mom, I remember it was my first outing with friends which include male friends! Those I remember are Po’e and Hisyan. Hahah I remember we went to McD if I’m not mistaken.

Sorry Po'e. Mu bagi aku pose ni, nok wat guane! XD He's now under JPA scholarship.

Teman model seperjuangan, Hisyan! Also a TESLian. :D

The BWPs. 

Second from right is Arshad. The President. Used to..urm.. have a crush on him. haha XD

With one of the junior. Amar if I'm not mistaken his name. Smart boy. Tgh kusyuk dok dia bacakan doa. 

One of anak En. Ferdawos! Cute kan? :D

Hazirah and Fiza if I'm not mistaken. This is our bilik BWP. Sempat lah merasa sekejap. haha

I had some issues with my some people (the guys, to be exact). Albeit I don't really care. But ya know? Gossip? When I just said I THOUGHT he's attractive, habis nak heboh satu sekolah aku suka dia. WTH?? Hahah Serious nightmare. Oh. And I think someone just suggested to me to add him in FB. Like, WTF?? No way man. No way. The only budak nakal (kira nakal la jugak) I added in Fb is Nazri. And I think he's okay what. LOL

I thought I really hated that place. Baju labuh and seriously baggy I had to wear. Tudung labuh. And some more, you're the BWP (Badan Wakil Pelajar. I was the Bendahari Kehormat) had to be all goodie-good. I think the environment it's just, ugh! Frustrating. I wonder how people can excel in such places. Not that I'm jealous. But if you see it... 

I know it's kinda a mess. Oh IT IS a mess. haha

My fav slipper and my shoes. :'D

During form 4 I had to bear taking a bath while a worm or maybe if I'm lucky enough just an ulat gonggok crawling on the wall. Thank God form 5, less nightmare. And I wonder how come people never look around the place they're going to take bath before they do. I mean like, don't you look around the toilet when you reached one place?? One of the first thing I must check it's okay, is the toilet. 

Sometimes we had to take care of budak yang kena rasuk. Funny I'm not that scared with these kind of incidents. Almost seen everything in front of my own bare eyes. You wanna know the story? Meet up and bring some coffee! hahah

I don't know. It's just like, the whole place is wrong for me! Like, I don't belong to that place! Everything's just a mess! My grades were dropping. It's not like when I'm in CBN. But I thank God for 5E, for making me feel like I'm one of them. :'D Thank you guys.

The Result

Yes, I couldn't deny that when I got my result the feeling that I expressed here, I thought, If I were in CBN, I'm sure this wouldn't be my result.

But then, Allah knew better. And after some time, I realize, maybe it's not the academic that He wants to give me, it's something more. Something that made me who I am today.

  • Spiritually, I think I've changed. Seriously. For better. Which I don't think I want to disclose here.
  • I get to outshine myself.
  • I get to be one of the leader (BWP).
  • I get to join the school debate team, which I met awesome people (ehem ehem to Izni. XD) and participate in public speaking which I never won pun. haha  (Seriously terharu time they made a banner to support me. Sayang we didn't keep it)
  • I learned quite a lot about politic and responsibilities. (Seriously, kalau setakat nak jawatan sebab nak glamour, baik tak payah. Sekali kau terima, kaki dah selangkah masuk neraka. Itu pesan ustad yg datang asrama perempuan subuh2 hon kereta pepagi buta)

And I'm sure there are a LOTTT more of what I got going to the MRSM. Yeah, though I still have that teeny tiny regret in my heart, I'll tell myself, ahhh you gained quite a lot from it what?? XD

So guys, if you wanna decide something, make sure you think about it clearly and deeply and think of all the consequences before you give your final words. And think positive too. :)

So, was it something I regret? Maybe. Maybe not.

P.s.: Found a student named Khaireza. I was shocked at first. The name of my two ex-crush was combined into one. haha


  1. SAME LIKE ME!! at first it was hell but ed with a glimpse of paradise, especially with the bwp team. ehemhem.. khaireza?? hahahh!!

  2. Izni:
    Really?? hahaha
    Yeah! Seriously! Terpaku sekejap tgk. XD

  3. Same here...but i suffered for 5 years...tapi, ada hikmahnya...mesti best if kita jumpa time debate kat uia kan...hehehe

  4. nyna, you bwp ke? x tau pulak!1 bukan nak bgtau.:P hmm, farhana tu i knal laaa. yg bwp jugak tuuu :)

  5. haha nice post (: esp the part when you puji kelas 5E tuu :P yeah I kinda hate staying there too at first ( esp form 4 ) but to think about it, I kinda enjoyed myself over there lol.

  6. Nashra:
    Kan?? Maybe kita pernah terserempak. We're meant to meet each other. hahaha :D

    Hihi. Buat ape nak heboh2. Lg pun, bukannya semua org suka bwp2 ni. haha oh, dia timbalan pres dulu. :)

    Hehehe Of course la! You guys helped make me feel like I'm a part of something. :p

  7. nyna!!
    u buat i rindu maktab!!
    waaa~~~rindu lah nak balik skolah!


What's on your mind is there for a reason. :)