I'm Not Ready

Truth is,

I'm not ready to hear/face any thing that means death when I'm still studying. Especially when I'm at universities. Unfortunately, this is life and I can't escape from hearing news of death. I just hope it wouldn't for people who I love most and close to me (my family). Please, God, please, no, not yet. 

The memory in 2008 still lingers clearly in my mind. I didn't forget every single thing. And when 1 thing happened, I can't help but to feel scared. I thought, what if that's the last time we see each other? No, I'm not ready for another PERMANENT good-bye. No, I'm not ready.

It still haunts me. And when something like that happened, yes, I cried. I hope nobody saw that except for Yana who comforted me during the crucial time.

Maybe I've been holding this for too long..
3 years is quite a long time
But maybe I've been trying to be strong for so long
And maybe, just maybe
I should not hold it back anymore..
But I couldn't
I just couldn't
I'll still hold myself and let nobody come crashing in and nobody will never, EVER take his place in my heart.

No comments

What's on your mind is there for a reason. :)