How To Be Confident.. or At Least Look Like One!

You see, I kinda somehow feel so inspired to answer some good, thoughtful questions in my Formspring, even though the question comes from anonymous. I don't care. Anonymous sometimes humour me. Sometimes they even make my day! Sometimes, they just make me wanna slap them with their perverted questions. You don't wanna know what they've asked me about... ergh. Okay! So, I'm here not to talk about perverted question, but one deep question. The question is simple, but knowing me, sometimes I can mumble ramble just about anything and so I thought of making a blog post about it. So others can read it, take points from it and hope it'll help you the readers out there somehow. :))

So here goes the question:

I purposely answer all the other question and leave that particular question on float. Because I think there're quite a few things that I wanna tell you, share with you.

First thing first, I'm very much flattered that you asked me that kind of question my dear anon. It shows that you think I'm confident (which I don't think I am, and if I am, I'm gonna tell you how to LOOK confident je. haha) and you wanna be confident too! Congratulations anon! You're on the steps on how to improve yourself to be a better person. Or maybe you're being sarcastic to say that I'm snobbish/arrogant??? Haha Whatever. Lets not think negative shall we?? :D

Let me tell you dear anon, being confident is not all about being PROUD of yourself in THAT way. Like I'm-the-best-in-the-world-you're-just-another-loser-so-fuck-you!. No, not like that. Yes, it's good to have that kind of attitude SOMETIMES, but you gotta know when to tune it up and when to tune it down. I know this might sound a bit confusing but I hope you get what I mean.

For me, being confident is when you KNOW yourself, you BELIEVE in yourself and most importantly, you LOVE yourself.

I believe that these factors actually help you to LOOK confident even if inside, you have tons of purple butterflies flying freely in your tummy.


Taken here.

I think, posture is vital when it comes to socializing, giving impression on people about you and of course, if you want to leave your 'mark' in the people you've met. Good posture can really send good signals/vibe to the people you're talking to.

Have a good posture when you sit and when you stand.

When you stand, stand straight, don't fidget around. (As the picture above)

Smile (Like I said, people love smiley face). But smile with your eyes. That's a smile that comes sincerely from your heart. Here's a short video from one of my best friend for you to be able to see what I meant;

When people talk to you, you look them in the eye, with a friendly face, of course. If you're the kind of person whom is too shy to look them in the eye, then look at them in between their eyes. Depending on the matter, if it's serious, you don't want to give people that Hello!-I'm-BugsBunny-and-you-are? face. You want people to take you seriously right??

When you sit, don't sit like the left one, but sit like the right one. DO. NOT. SLOUCH! It'll affect your posture.
Taken here

A good posture can definitely make you look confident and you'll actually feel good about yourself.

Now I'm sure some of you (especially the girls) have read somewhere (mostly in mags I think) that you must not slouch forward your shoulder. You can practice this by trying to lean straight on a wall. Yes, I did this. And so far it's doing me good.


Be positive
Don't sigh. I believe that'll bring more the negatives in you and around you. Take everything around you as a lesson for you and always think good. The mind is like a door that'll attract the same poles. If you open a positive door, good things will come. And vice versa. Well, what about when you think positive, bad things still come? Take that as a challenge. A problem is actually a chance, a challenge for you to become a better person.

Have a good, open mind. 
Think big. Embrace everything around you. Learn to accept others opinion. Look things in different perspective, different angle. The world is big. The universe is infinity. Your mind can do more than you can think of.

"You can do anything you put your mind to, and you can do it in stilettos." 
 Kimora Lee Simmons

Always try to see the beauties in others.
I know. In this world, we can't run from the people we dislike/hate. But as much as you can't get along with certain people, try not to hate them. In Islam, we are the vicegerent of Allah. We must take care of the world. This include the people and the nature. I myself sometimes hate the fact that I can see the bad side of people. But I always tell myself that, 'What you hate is what you are'. Cuz I've done reflection on the people that I used to hate, that I have the 'things' that I hate about them, inside of me. And since then, I've decided to try my best not to hate people. I guess that's why God gave us the people that we dislike so that we can take lessons from them and make them an example of something that we must not follow. Other than the fact to remind us that we're not perfect, cuz we're only human.

Try to think about the good things that God has planned upon you. Try to SEE the lessons behind every trouble that you have. There will be one time when you can feel (Insya-Allah) that He is actually communicating with you in every way possible. If you actually think about it. :D

Always be grateful.
Be thankful to Him. Even if it's the simplest thing. Notice the littlest thing. I believe that the more grateful you are to Him, the more He will give you. Really. Even if you as a human being, when someone is grateful for what you gave them, I'm sure you wouldn't hesitate to give them more, don't you? What more God, The Almighty Allah; The Most Giving, The Most Loving. :D

You have to have a good grab, a good hold onto yourself. You have to know your own flaws and your own strength so that you can improve yourself to become a better person in the future.

It is very important to think positive and to be calm. As for me, sometimes I can be too calm when the situation requires me to be... well, a little bit of panic in me. For example, I still remember this time when it's my exam day.

 In the car

Uncle: Nina exam bila?
Me: Hari ni.
Uncle: Hari ni????!!!! *with that shock face*
Me: A'ah *still cool. haha

*Result was okay. Cuz back then I used to study all around the clock. Wherever I go, I'll make sure it's a worthwhile and educational visit. Even to the dentist. Or the supermarket. -.-

In hostel. My uncle was actually down there waiting and I still have not pack my stuffs yet.

Nurin: Nina, ko balik kul brape?
Me: Sekarang la. Pak cik aku dah tunggu kat bawah dah.
Nurin: Ye ke? *gelak* Kau nampak rileks je.. XD
Me: Haha

Okay I think enough of the example, people will say I'm showing-off pulak. Tapi nak show off apa kan? Dah orang tanya, kita jawab la. XD

I've read somewhere about confidence, a say from Miranda Kerr;

"Even when you're not confident, just smile. And try to look as if you're confident. That feeling will come to you eventually."

I know we all have insecurities. And sometimes, there are days when we just hate looking at ourselves in the mirror. There are just days when jeans don't fit, blouses won't button up, shirts make you look fat and your hair makes you look like you just came from a tornado. Well, honey, I've been through all that. And you know what makes me feel beautiful, even when I'm all naked in the bathroom (okay don't imagine that. SCRATH that) and I look at myself in the mirror, I can still see the beauty in me, and I do think I'm beautiful. The key is to LOVE yourself and ACCEPT yourself as who you are, inside out. I know we all have insecurities. As much as I look like I'm confident, I too do have insecurities. Say whatever you want to say, say I'm self-obsessed. But I do this for my own sake. For my own good. Cuz nobody's gonna love me as much as I love myself. 

If you feel that you are unbeautiful, look in the mirror, look into your eyes, and tell yourself, "I AM BEAUTIFUL. (Say your name), you're beautiful" And smile. I know this  might sound like a psychopathetic or a silly action or whatever, but believe me, once you can say it to yourself, looking deep into your eyes, with a smile that comes from your heart, a love that nothing can measure, by that moment, nothing can stop you from doing what's best for you, nothing can make you feel worthless, and nothing can bring you down. And that's when you can achieve on how to look confident. You don't need others to say you're beautiful, you're smart, you're confident, because you can see it and you can say it for yourself and most importantly, you know you are!

I know I sound like one very independent girl. But I am just another human being with flaws and I love myself just the way I am. Anything good comes from Him, and anything bad, it's my mistake. Sorry for anything. And I hope you can become more of a confident person than I am.

Here are some links I thought it might help:

50 Steps To Simple Happiness
How To Achieve Better Posture
How To Look Confident by Knowing Where & How To Look!
Happy Thoughts & Their Power
Quotations About Happiness (I believe there's a relation of being happy and looking confident)

Bottom line is, ask from Him to help you to become a better person. I'm just a medium for you to be one. If you get what I mean. ;D

P.s.: Phew~ What a long post. Now you make me wanna be a psychologist or a counsellor anon! XD

No comments

What's on your mind is there for a reason. :)