Last Stop, Perhaps.

Today I broke down before the class start. I can't stand it. I've been holding this... I don't know..this feelings or things, for soooo long. Trying not to fall down and cry. Gosh! I would never cry because of a guy. But this is not because of the guy. This is because I can't control my feelings towards him. I don't understand why I'm feeling this way and how did I fell? Since when?? It was so short. Yet, the effect, it's enormous. On me. 

I can't go into that room. But I had to. It reminds me so much of you. I miss seeing you there. I miss...oh God, why must I?? This is not fair 'cuz it's only me. ONLY ME. I wanna let it out. I'm letting it all out. It's as if I can imagine you sitting there, doing your thing and your voice that always cheer up the class.

I'm sure by now, certain people who read this must've know well who I meant. Well, I won't lie. Anyhow, life must go on. No point turning back, no point glancing back, for what is gone, is gone. Yeah, I sound better cuz I just cried. I just let it all out. For the days to come, I hope I can get through it all, especially for Thursday class which starts at 2.10pm-4.00pm, the hardest time of all. I'm trying to stay positive. 

Yes, I laughed, I cried. I'm the type of person who don't let things go that easy. I might say Imma be okay, but truth is, it's gonna take time. Yeah, exactly like my late uncle. He's gone for almost more than 2 years?? But I still miss him and there were nights when I still dream of him. I hugged him and asked him, 'Ayah De pergi mane??' like a little kid missing her father. Yes, I can say I'm fine. But it takes time for me to heal. I don't fall easily, but once I fall, I fall hard, baby. I can smile, I can laugh but nobody knows what's inside cuz I never let people into my heart that easy. 

I don't understand why or how, or even when, this thing made me feel like this. I'm so sorry that this has to involve you, but I hope this won't ruin anything that we had. =)

If you love someone, you let him go, if he comes back to you, then he's yours; I believe in that. 

Guess I'll be waiting for you here, at the last stop.


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What's on your mind is there for a reason. :)